September 21st

8PM - The sun has set now and I lay fully awake with the silk sheets caressing my pale naked skin.  I need to get up and go to work; after all everyone must follow the rules here.  One day I worry that the chaotic recesses of my mind will overpower me and I will lose control leaving a trail of ...  But alas I must control these urges and I have met some very interesting people in this land of America so I will carry on pretending to be things that I am not. I imagine the forest in Russia where I was found and wonder who left me there. I hold no ill will towards them, the forest became my refuge and taught me untold wisdom about the world but some say the spirits there corrupted my mind, transformed me, and that I cannot be recovered from the darkness.  They could not understand the things I did but all of them, all of the people that died were by their own standards evil so why mourn them.  They drove me from my homeland, cursing me and attempting all forms of torture and yet they claim to be so righteous. They murdered the people who took me in thinking I had come from their loins and they expected me to allow this.  That day humanity was lost and I knew the concept of good and evil is a farce of manipulation and control.  I left them with images so horrific they will never forget them and I eventually fled. I never thought to end up here in the new world; one of fast food, materialism, and blissful ignorance.  But there is something to be learned from it all and I know that one day I will return to where I belong. These memories used to haunt me but now they simply persist so what should I do tonight? I suppose I should go to work like a good girl.  Grabbing the wine bottle from the side table, I pour a glass thick and bright red...  I cannot stand the taste of the aspirin that is mixed in but it is necessary.  Arising quickly I slip on my silk black panties and a purple dress, silver pentagram ear rings for effect, pull on some stockings, and fasten a strap on my high heel shoes.  Many of the American women criticize me saying slut but who are they to judge; they do not know me, this is how I dress and so what.. I do not judge them for all the things they do pretending to be people they are not.  Well alas I do not care and in fact would delight in pulling one of them into the woods and hearing her scream like the others did. They are all so protected from the world just watching it on CNN and believing everything like sheep.